How we unconsciously raise entitled children (and how to fix it)

On a surface level, all parents want their best for their children - in the process they will do a lot of 'right' things, but will also do some things which might be detrimental. While giving kids a platform to grow, many parents also serve them everything on a platter (even with the best of intentions) This unfortunately, works in the opposite way, as kids grow up entitled, spoilt and thinking that they deserve everything in the world, without working hard for it. However, can parents do something to avoid this? Let's take a look...


How Do We Accidentally Raise Entitled Children ?

Serving the world on a platter
One common way entitlement develops is when children receive too much without earning it. For example, if parents buy toys, gadgets, or treats whenever a child asks, the child may start to expect things without effort. This can teach kids that they don’t need to work or wait for what they want.

Shielding their children
Parents naturally want to protect their children from pain or failure. But when kids are never allowed to experience disappointment or consequences, they may not learn important life lessons. For instance, if a child forgets homework and the parent calls the teacher to excuse them every time, the child misses the chance to take responsibility.

Being blind to their follies
Praise is important, but when children are praised for everything, even without trying, they can develop an unrealistic sense of their abilities. Saying “You’re the best!” all the time without recognizing effort or improvement can make kids expect praise just for showing up.

Compensating with "material" love
When love and approval are tied too much to gifts or rewards, children may believe that material things are the most important. This can lead to a focus on what they get rather than who they are or how they treat others.


How Can We Fix It?

Encourage them to work hard
Encourage children to earn rewards through effort. This can be done by giving age-appropriate chores or responsibilities and praising their hard work, not just the outcome. For example, instead of just giving a toy, say, “You worked hard helping with dishes, so here’s a little reward.”

Let them make mistakes
Allow kids to experience the results of their actions. If they forget their homework, let them face the teacher’s consequences. This helps them understand responsibility and learn from mistakes.

Praise efforts too
Focus on praising qualities like persistence, kindness, and honesty. For example, say, “I’m proud of how you kept trying even when it was hard,” instead of, “You’re so smart.” This builds a growth mindset and reduces entitlement.

Teach gratitude
Help children appreciate what they have by practicing gratitude together. This can be as simple as talking about what they are thankful for each day. Encourage sharing and helping others to build empathy.

Help them be humble
Children learn a lot by watching their parents. Show them how you handle mistakes, work hard, and treat others kindly. Being a good role model helps children develop similar values.